Honesty.

11.7.16

floral1
WARNING: LONG-WINDED RAMBLE AHEAD...


Being 100% honest with you guys is important for me. Without honesty, nothing runs smoothly, and people always get found out. You may have noticed I've been a little absent in on my blog lately, as well as most of my other social media - now don't worry, there's nothing wrong, nobody's died in the family, and nobody's ill or anything (thank god). In fact, it's me that's the problem. Lately, I've found myself completely lacking in enthusiasm and motivation for blogging - not just this, but the whole Instagram thing too. 

Maybe it's because I take things a little too seriously, I mean after all, isn't Instagram purely about sharing a snap 'in the moment', not about having the 'perfect' feed, all perfectly matched with a stunning white aesthetic. I could spend a good 30 minutes to an hour perfecting a pose or flatlay for Instagram, and for what? Because it looks pretty? Sure, but what about those moments that happen once in a lifetime with our friends or family, that we daren't share in case it ruins our 'feed' look? I'm the first to admit that there have been so many photos I loved that have been taken in the moment, be it on holiday or whatever, that I didn't post because it didn't go with my 'theme' or I worried my face looked a little too lob-sided, or my legs a little too cellulite-y. Out of say 150 photos, there will be 1 I love, 2/3 I think are OK, and the rest? Never seen again. 

And I think that's run into my blogging a little bit. I'm a self-confessed perfectionist, so when I have an image in my head of how I want my images to look, I won't be happy until I get it. As you can imagine, it becomes so frustrating when you're trying your best but it just never seems to be enough - for yourself. My boyfriend takes my blog photos for me, and I cannot thank him enough for being so patient with my little fits in the middle of the street when the light leak is too much, or the photo is a bit off-centre. 

I still remember the first time I asked him to take some photos for me and he wouldn't venture out of my back garden for fear of being seen by our old school friends or whatever, but only a year later and he's stood smack bang in the centre of one of York's busiest streets, people staring and pointing, and he still carries on for me. What a sweetheart, right? I admit, sometimes I forget he's just my boyfriend taking photos for me, who not even a year ago wasn't even sure how to take a picture on my camera, let alone shoot a whole set of outfit photos for me, so I admittedly am a little tough to work with, but he isn't a professional photographer, but he's pretty damn good anyway. So I guess when I get the shots back and they aren't what I imagined them to be, it's hard for me to feel super excited about the whole thing. That isn't how it should be - pushing that publish button and wishing you had something else to show instead. But that's not to say I hate his photos, because I honestly think he's amazing and I love them, but I must stop comparing them to the unrealistic standards I have in my head of how I want them to look.

Another factor, possibly the largest for me personally, yet the silliest for a lot of you, is where I live. I live in the North East, somewhere called Middlesbrough. The weather's always naff, the people are usually always drunk, and the sights aren't the prettiest. Now, with being a fashion blogger, the location, some argue, is just as important as the outfit you're shooting. If a location fits the look, the imagery is transformed. Living in London, I'd probably be off shooting 4/5 outfits a day against the endless white housed streets, the picturesque Covent Garden, the candy-coloured Notting Hill and more. But up here? Nah. There isn't anything that comes close. Think cigarette butts on every paving stone; dark, moss-covered streets; scruffy, graffiti-d town centres, and wet grass. That's about it. So until I venture to another city for a day of shopping such as Leeds or York, there isn't much for me to work with. A lot of people say you just have to make do with what you have, and I agree to a certain extent, but when you have a nifty little outfit that you know would look just fab next to a white wall (none of those either), it's hard to be overly impressed with the outcome when there's a bleak, dismal background and a pervy old man peeking in, too.

God, I sure know how to ramble, don't I? Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, everything in this new world of social media, is so edited and perfected, and despite our complaints, the majoirty of us will still play along with it. I think right now I'm wondering what the point of it all is. In 20 years will anyone really be saying, "20 years ago, this one girl had the best Instagram feed I've ever seen"? I don't think so. So, with all of the above combined, I'm just feeling a little lack-luster, a little worn down, and a little tired of everything. 

I still love blogging, and I'll still continue to do so, but until I get back into the swing of things, I'm going to be posting a little less, but a lot better quality, with a hell of a lot more time and effort into each one for both myself, and you guys. 

Sorry for the ramble, lots of love. X

floral2 floral3 floral4

Jumpsuit - Boohoo | Mules - Office (similar)

8 comments

  1. It's awful how we can be so critical of ourselves - I look through your photos & think each one is incredible, I take a lot of inspiration from them. :-)

    clairewakefield.com

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    1. That's so sweet - thank you so much lovely. That's made my day haha! So glad you like them, that's the most important thing for me. X

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  2. Nice outfit! I really like it and your blog design is nice.

    xx
    beauthi.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much! Glad you like it xx

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  3. Aw I loved reading this post, it really resonated with me, I come from a similar kind of place- Hull- and I always have an image in my head of what I want my posts to look like, but usually only have my mum to take my pictures so it can be so frustrating when I know what I like but find it so tricky to achieve!

    But honestly you don't need to worry, I love your posts. Your photos always look beautiful and really professional, especially considering it's just your boyfriend taking them! And your outfits are always on point!!

    x
    www.hunchblog.com

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    1. It can be so frustrating can't it? I totally feel you, if only we could split ourselves into two! Personally I don't actually care about backgrounds or anything in other people's photos, but in my own I think it's way more important than it is.

      That's so lovely to hear, thank you so much Claudia! He'll be happy to know people like his photography, too! ;-) x

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  4. I feel exactly the same about photo back drops, I live in Bishop Auckland in the North East and it is really tricky to find somewhere to take photos! Recently I've been making the trip to Durham as the back drops there are much prettier - hope this helps! Anyway, I think your pictures look absolutely great and I love those mules!

    Anna xx | Anna Hopeless

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    1. Aw thanks for the trip lovely! I think the trick is to just find a place you feel comfortable and happy with then everything is so much easier! Keeping my fingers crossed I stumble across somewhere nearby soon! Thank you Anna xx

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